GOT CERTIFIED TO BE A STROKE JUDGE FOR SWIM RACES.
ALSO: SOMEHOW MY OVER A DECADE OLD HAIRCLIPPERS DISAPPEARED SOMETIME BETWEEN WHEN I LAST CUT IT IN MAY AND NOW.

I SUGGESTED THE WOMAN THREW THEM AWAY AS SHE IS THE ONLY ONE WITH A GRUDGE -
WHY CANT' YOU JUST GO GET YOUR HAIRCUT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON- BECAUSE EVERY 10 BUCKS I SAVE IS 10 BUCKS I CAN SPEND ON MY FAMILY. THOUGH SHE DENIES ABSCONDING WITH MY TRUSTY CLIPPERS, SHE BOUGHT ME NEW CLIPPER AT INFLATED DOLLARS (3X AS MUCH FOR THE CHEAPEST SET) IT DIDNT DO A GOOD JOB AND LEFT ME LOOKING LIKE SOME KIND OF WILD HAIRED PYSCHO THAT CUT HIS OWN HAIR WITH SOME STONEAGE TOOLS.