4 Ways You Can Be Raped After You've Consented to Sex

[tod evans]

( ps... I'd hope tod find an unlicensed impartial mediator before turning to state lawyers )

I would need to be convinced to marry again before that ever became an issue...

 

[fisharmor]

I don't think I'll be back for awhile.

Taking offense to something nobody said: check.
Giving mandates without considering alternate viewpoints: check.
Shaming alternate viewpoints by calling holders names: check.
Holding the audience emotional hostage by ragequitting: check.

Looks like MelissaWV has gone leftist.

 

[timosman]

Looks like MelissaWV has gone leftist.

She did not go anywhere. She was always there. The left-right paradigm is really man-woman. Men when they are young they tend to be lefty too because it is the only way to sample quality pussy.

 

[lilymc]

Free advice: if you know someone who was raped, it's kind of a jerk move to tell them "well you shouldn't have gotten involved with a future rapist...duh!"

I can't fathom the disdain you hold for women who've been raped within marriage, to presume that there was no change in behavior, that the woman should have seen the signs but (through failing to interview him well enough first I guess) was too dumb to see those signs. I can assure you, however, that fear of that kind of disdain does affect reporting rates. It kills.

Just as common sense and foolproof would be for rapists not to rape. It's just as realistic a request.

Don't worry though. This is RPFs, so it is more popular to view the women into!ved as idiots, the guys as oppressed, and the claims as disingenuous. I could say "I pray this doesn't happen to you or yours," but your point of view is the false confidence that it can't.

I don't think I'll be back for awhile.

Melissa, I hope you didn't think that was what I was saying. Because that was not at ALL what I was saying! There's no excuse for rape, period. I'm with you 1000% on that. I mean, to me that goes without saying.

We were starting to get into a couple different topics and I didn't really want to get into the other topics because initially I was only commenting on problems among singles. So if my post sounded a bit flippant, then I apologize, that is not at all what I meant to convey on a topic that is this serious and important.

 

[jonhowe]

Really?



First of all, that means nearly all straight men, including almost all married men are rapists..

Only if you read just the 1st sentence of that entry on the list. Continue: "Sexual coercion is a tactic that perpetrators often use to violate consent and manipulate someone until they give in, employing pressure, threats, or guilt. In contrast, real consent gives someone the space and the freedom to say “no.”

“As a general idea, the presence of coercion negates consent,” said Kristiansson. “Whether or not the totality of the facts involved would bring that conduct up to a criminal level really depends.”"

In short, asking over and over again is NOT rape. Asking over and over again, in conjunction with "pressure, threats, or guilt", where the person does not have "the freedom to say no", MIGHT be considered rape, it "really depends" on the other situations. I don't think anyone, except the super fem-nazis, would take this to mean that saying "Can we? Please? Can we? Please? What about now?" etc constitutes rape. What is being described is an extended pattern of manipulation which, when taken together with other factors, might constitute a lack of consent.

#2 was the only one I had any issue with, but that was before I read it entirely. And that said, as someone who sees lots of rape cases, I've never once seen anything like this being called rape, unless it culminated in what we would conventionally call rape. I would have worded #2 a lot more strongly as to what is required to constitute rape, but it's a clickbait article, not a legal treatise.

Rape within a marriage.........

The legal theory alone is enough to scare off an entire generation of young men, and rightly so.

Given the one-sided legal system and a mans sex drive it's enough to allege conspiracy...

This is a really horrifying viewpoint. A marriage is a union, but not a "sex on demand" contract. Tell me what you would call the following situation:
Husband: Can we have sex now?
Wife: Not now, maybe later.
*Husband holds wife down against her will and repeatedly inserts himself into her until complete*

The word I'd use is rape. I'm very interested to hear what other word there might be that I haven't learned.


And by the one sided legal system, you mean in favor of men? The shocking ignorance of most people on here about how court cases involving rape ACTUALLY happen is appalling. Sure there are examples of women making it up; it's a major problem, and it wont go away until those women are prosecuted to the same extent the would have had their "rapist" prosecuted. But in most cases I've seen it is very difficult to prove rape beyond a reasonable doubt, ESPECIALLY when the woman didn't report it immediately after. Even 1 shower can, and often does, make the case impossible to prove.
I'm not suggesting we lower the burden of proof: I'm suggesting you get some idea of what you're talking about before you sound like an idiot again.

And as a final note, this is pretty much the only field of criminal law in which men have the 'advantage'. In almost every other case (even rape committed BY women) men get longer sentences in worse places. And it's not an advantage weaseled into the law by women hating men: it's just the simple fact that unwanted sexual contact is extremely difficult to prove beyond a reasonable doubt, especially because of the taboo put on victims which often leads them to hesitate before reporting, destroying the crucial evidence.

 

[jonhowe]

Free advice: if you know someone who was raped, it's kind of a jerk move to tell them "well you shouldn't have gotten involved with a future rapist...duh!"

I can't fathom the disdain you hold for women who've been raped within marriage, to presume that there was no change in behavior, that the woman should have seen the signs but (through failing to interview him well enough first I guess) was too dumb to see those signs. I can assure you, however, that fear of that kind of disdain does affect reporting rates. It kills.

Just as common sense and foolproof would be for rapists not to rape. It's just as realistic a request.

Don't worry though. This is RPFs, so it is more popular to view the women into!ved as idiots, the guys as oppressed, and the claims as disingenuous. I could say "I pray this doesn't happen to you or yours," but your point of view is the false confidence that it can't.

I don't think I'll be back for awhile.

Notice some of the same people saying "she should have seen it coming!" are also the ones saying "never get married: no way to tell if your wife might cry rape!"

Women must inform themselves of all potential future outcomes. Men are just victims.



This is such a WEIRD side of this debate for me to be on, as a man and as a public defender. I guess I didn't realize there were still people who thought a marriage contract was a deed to property...

 

[tod evans]

This is a really horrifying viewpoint. A marriage is a union, but not a "sex on demand" contract. Tell me what you would call the following situation:
Husband: Can we have sex now?
Wife: Not now, maybe later.
*Husband holds wife down against her will and repeatedly inserts himself into her until complete*

The word I'd use is rape. I'm very interested to hear what other word there might be that I haven't learned.


And by the one sided legal system, you mean in favor of men? The shocking ignorance of most people on here about how court cases involving rape ACTUALLY happen is appalling. Sure there are examples of women making it up; it's a major problem, and it wont go away until those women are prosecuted to the same extent the would have had their "rapist" prosecuted. But in most cases I've seen it is very difficult to prove rape beyond a reasonable doubt, ESPECIALLY when the woman didn't report it immediately after. Even 1 shower can, and often does, make the case impossible to prove.
I'm not suggesting we lower the burden of proof: I'm suggesting you get some idea of what you're talking about before you sound like an idiot again.

And as a final note, this is pretty much the only field of criminal law in which men have the 'advantage'. In almost every other case (even rape committed BY women) men get longer sentences in worse places. And it's not an advantage weaseled into the law by women hating men: it's just the simple fact that unwanted sexual contact is extremely difficult to prove beyond a reasonable doubt, especially because of the taboo put on victims which often leads them to hesitate before reporting, destroying the crucial evidence.

Look you officious prick, what I did was comment on the state of affairs in society today.

If you think my commentary is wrong then try addressing it, young men are scared to marry, more so than any time past.

If you think accusations of rape in a "family court" setting don't sway judges or influence communities whether or not criminal charges were filed then maybe you should get out more.

Trying to flaunt a few years of low-rent law school doesn't impress me. If you're going to quote me then try addressing the post I typed instead of the issue you want to talk about.

 

[Suzanimal]

And good God, what about poor Mr. Animal?!?!! How many times has he been raped by these standards?

Poor Mr Animal....

 

[jmdrake]

There is a solution to all these problems, but it's very unpopular and no one wants to hear it. :-/

I bet you're going to say marriage. And that a good solution, but not a perfect one considering that wives can claim rape now. I read a case in law school that a young woman invited a man up to her room, they both got naked, the second before he penetrated she said "no", immediately after that one penetration he stopped, he got up, got dressed and left, yet he was still convicted of rape. Even most of the women in the class were uncomfortable with the outcome. That same scenario could theoretically happen in a marriage. It's unlikely because most women wouldn't want to destroy their marriage by a spurious rape charge.

That said, the last girlfriend I had was irritated (in a playful way) that I didn't pick up on her "hints" and didn't take her hand when she put it out on the table, and didn't make a move until the night was almost over and then only kissed her after asking permission. Better safe than sorry.

 

[jmdrake]

Actual, violent rape does happen within marriages. I'm not talking about the twisted nonsense being characterized as rape these days. I'm not talking about waking someone up with kisses and touches. I'm talking about a woman just having given birth and still healing from stitches being told she doesn't get to say no. I'm talking about someone who has simply had too long a day to deal with the elaborate fantasies her husband demands, begging off and saying no, and having that choice forcibly taken away. The standard of proof remains the same. There is no "pass" once there's a ring on the finger; the wife doesn't become your private sex doll and lose the right to consent.

I wonder if you'd feel the same way if the wife in the scenario decided, since they're married, she could tie him up and use a strap-on on the husband against his will? Nope. Rape. And I hope she goes to jail for it.

Hmmmm....so I guess you got offended and took off and won't see this but......

If a woman wants to work with her man there are ways that she can make sure he's satisfied without risking stitches being ripped.

The "appetite" question and "fantasy" question should be openly discussed prior to marriage. And men should feel free to walk away from the "perfect woman" who is not compatible in bed. Sadly most men are under the illusion that she'll "open up" after marriage. The reverse tends to happen. And this is true even if you aren't having premarital sex. Those hot passionate "make out sessions" with your bride to be with all the tongue action and everything tend to dry up after marriage. Before marriage she can't get enough of your body. After marriage if she keeps you from having blue balls once a week she thinks she's doing you a favor. The real killer is when she doesn't fulfill your appetite, doesn't want you doing anything else to deal with your appetite, and acts like your appetite is the problem.

Tod Evans made a good point. If things aren't going well appetite wise you can always call a divorce lawyer. But that brings a whole new layer or problems, especially if you have kids. I wonder if this is what initially caused polygamy? Wife #1 just had a kid and ain't in the mood so go to wife #2.

Ultimately if both sides communicated more before and during the engagement process and after getting married and both sides were seeking to be attentive to the others needs a lot of these issues would go away. And I disagree with the "Oh but I couldn't know before we got married" nonsense. It's nonsense. My dad was physically abusive to my mom. That finally stopped but it was after my brother and I were adults. I asked my mom "Was there any warning signs?" She said "Well there was that time we were dating and we were riding down the rode and he just slapped me out of the blue for no reason." Now, I'm glad they got married. I wouldn't be here if my mom had made what I think is the right decision. But don't tell me "There aren't warning signs." There are but people just don't want to see them. Take a compatibility test for crying out loud! I read a book by a multi-millionaire who advised all couples seeking marriage to take a compatibility and if the answers don't line up, break up. I can't say I disagree. I'm sure if I had done that my ex and I most likely wouldn't have gotten married.

/rant

 

[Anti Federalist]

Poor Mr Animal....

I know, right?

 

[timosman]

I know, right?

The poor guy should lawyer up, just in case.

 

[Suzanimal]

This could also apply to deepthroating. If a man physically forces your head down during oral sex, that can constitute rape since he’s forcing you to do something against your will (even if only for a few seconds).

So would this be rape, too? Or does it only count as rape when men do it?

 

[CaptainAmerica]

1984

 

[Suzanimal]

The poor guy should lawyer up, just in case.

Mr A doesn't need a lawyer. I've offered him lots of divorces and he says I can't have one.

 

[RonPaulIsGreat]

This is so bizarre, How in the world would a woman marry a rapist? As if he just magically turned violent and cruel all of a sudden. I don't believe marital rape happens very often at all. It's beyond insane, so first the woman presumably was with the man for a year or more before getting married, and absolutely no signs of sadism at all? Okay then. Then they get married, and presumably the wife doesn't get instantly pregnant, so we'll say another year and a 1/2 before the baby pops out, and THEN when her vagina is shredded all of a sudden he turns into a MONSTER!!!!!!! without warning and just needs that pussy NOW!...... OH MY!

More like a woman in that situation knew he was a jerk, but likely he was a jerk to others and she got off on it, then as his artificial wooing of her grew tiresome that jerkiness turned on her, and well that just wasn't acceptable anymore... Gosh darn it. He was a great monster when he attacked others for me, kinda hot you know, but he CHANGED!!! He turned Cruel to me Ma!!!! However, really he was cruel all the time and it was obvious, just to others. That's the common scenario I've seen, and in that scenario, Well, it shouldn't happen, but she married a snake what do you expect?

 

[Suzanimal]

This is so bizarre, How in the world would a woman marry a rapist? As if he just magically turned violent and cruel all of a sudden. I don't believe marital rape happens very often at all. It's beyond insane, so first the woman presumably was with the man for a year or more before getting married, and absolutely no signs of sadism at all? Okay then. Then they get married, and presumably the wife doesn't get instantly pregnant, so we'll say another year and a 1/2 before the baby pops out, and THEN when her vagina is shredded all of a sudden he turns into a MONSTER!!!!!!! without warning and just needs that pussy NOW!...... OH MY!

More like a woman in that situation knew he was a jerk, but likely he was a jerk to others and she got off on it, then as his artificial wooing of her grew tiresome that jerkiness turned on her, and well that just wasn't acceptable anymore... Gosh darn it. He was a great monster when he attacked others for me, kinda hot you know, but he CHANGED!!! He turned Cruel to me Ma!!!! However, really he was cruel all the time and it was obvious, just to others. That's the common scenario I've seen, and in that scenario, Well, it shouldn't happen, but she married a snake what do you expect?

Seriously? People do change. I guess all those divorced couples who complain about their exes should shut up and put up because they married the bitch/asshole.

Are there situations like the one you described? Sure, I've witnessed a few train wrecks and sometimes it's hard to be sympathetic but no one deserves to be violently raped or attacked. Hell, my ex sister in law physically attacked my brother and called the cops on him saying he punched her but I guess he should've seen it coming because he married her.

 

[RonPaulIsGreat]

Seriously? People do change. I guess all those divorced couples who complain about their exes should shut up and put up because they married the bitch/asshole.

Are there situations like the one you described? Sure, I've witnessed a few train wrecks and sometimes it's hard to be sympathetic but no one deserves to be violently raped or attacked. Hell, my ex sister in law physically attacked my brother and called the cops on him saying he punched her but I guess he should've seen it coming because he married her.

Lol. Sure, people go from good to a sadistic rapist fucking their wives stitched up pussy after she gave birth to their child. Yeah... totally..

People change, but not that much.

 

[Jamesiv1]

This thread illustrates why marriage as implemented in Western Civilization is totally effed up:

1. Arranged marriage is good (because youngsters are stupid and easily swayed)
2. Men should be the providers and head of household
3. Women should be the homemakers and child-rearers
4. If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy
5. Polygamy is good. A man should be allowed to have as many wives as he can support
6. Hollywood's version of "true love" is BS (imagine that!)
7. If a husband is going to cheat, he better do it without bringing shame on the wife or wife's family (cause them to lose face in the community)
8. Prostitution may be morally objectionable, but it's not a crime.

Successful civilizations have done it this way for millennia, because it works.

Western Civilization is a blight on humanity, not a boon.

 

[Suzanimal]

Lol. Sure, people go from good to a sadistic rapist fucking their wives stitched up pussy after she gave birth to their child. Yeah... totally..

People change, but not that much.

Sure they can. Over the years, I've seen very cool people lose it for different reasons. Some through drug abuse, midlife crisis, and one guy I grew up with turned into a violent freak after he suffered a brain injury in a car accident. Shit happens and, honestly, you don't really know someone until you've lived with them for quite awhile.

I'm not saying your scenario doesn't happen, I'm sure it does, but I think, in the case of violent martial rape, there are many cases of extenuating circumstances. We'll just have to disagree, I guess.