4 Ways You Can Be Raped After You've Consented to Sex

[MelissaWV]

Just obey God. Don't have premarital sex, don't get drunk and pass out and put yourself in a vulnerable position, don't waste time dating the wrong type of person, be wise, have self-respect, etc.

Like I said.... it's not popular, but it sure prevents a lot of stupid mistakes and heartache.

That can prevent a lot, but definitely not all. I still believe a significant amount of rape happens within marriage, but once you're there, there's a lot less you can do to get out of the situation easily, especially if there are kids involved. Some of those women will also tell you they are obeying God by keeping their marriage together.

So while I agree that it's a definite good start, it would be dangerous to paint it as "a solution to all these problems."

 

[timosman]

And bring along a lawyer to monitor the coitus session, to make sure everyone stays in compliance.

Better yet, a police officer.

You also need a grading committee. Poor performance results in an call from a virtual lawyer and rape accusations.

 

[tod evans]

That can prevent a lot, but definitely not all. I still believe a significant amount of rape happens within marriage, but once you're there, there's a lot less you can do to get out of the situation easily, especially if there are kids involved. Some of those women will also tell you they are obeying God by keeping their marriage together.

So while I agree that it's a definite good start, it would be dangerous to paint it as "a solution to all these problems."

Rape within a marriage.........

The legal theory alone is enough to scare off an entire generation of young men, and rightly so.

Given the one-sided legal system and a mans sex drive it's enough to allege conspiracy...

 

[MelissaWV]

Rape within a marriage.........

The legal theory alone is enough to scare off an entire generation of young men, and rightly so.

Given the one-sided legal system and a mans sex drive it's enough to allege conspiracy...

Actual, violent rape does happen within marriages. I'm not talking about the twisted nonsense being characterized as rape these days. I'm not talking about waking someone up with kisses and touches. I'm talking about a woman just having given birth and still healing from stitches being told she doesn't get to say no. I'm talking about someone who has simply had too long a day to deal with the elaborate fantasies her husband demands, begging off and saying no, and having that choice forcibly taken away. The standard of proof remains the same. There is no "pass" once there's a ring on the finger; the wife doesn't become your private sex doll and lose the right to consent.

I wonder if you'd feel the same way if the wife in the scenario decided, since they're married, she could tie him up and use a strap-on on the husband against his will? Nope. Rape. And I hope she goes to jail for it.

 

[tod evans]

Actual, violent rape does happen within marriages. I'm not talking about the twisted nonsense being characterized as rape these days. I'm not talking about waking someone up with kisses and touches. I'm talking about a woman just having given birth and still healing from stitches being told she doesn't get to say no. I'm talking about someone who has simply had too long a day to deal with the elaborate fantasies her husband demands, begging off and saying no, and having that choice forcibly taken away. The standard of proof remains the same. There is no "pass" once there's a ring on the finger; the wife doesn't become your private sex doll and lose the right to consent.

I wonder if you'd feel the same way if the wife in the scenario decided, since they're married, she could tie him up and use a strap-on on the husband against his will? Nope. Rape. And I hope she goes to jail for it.

I have no metric with which to measure "actual, violent rape"...........I'm one of those guys who lets 'no' suffice once in a while in a marriage but if it becomes a regular occurrence it's time for lawyers.

As a younger man I put more effort into making a marriage work but times were different and I was less jaded. Today it's pretty simple for me with sex in a relationship, if she and I aren't on the same page it's time for a new book.

There might be people who get off on forcing or being forced, I wouldn't know, there're too many willing people out there to force anyone to do something they don't want to do...

 

[MelissaWV]

I have no metric with which to measure "actual, violent rape"...........I'm one of those guys who lets 'no' suffice once in a while in a marriage but if it becomes a regular occurrence it's time for lawyers.

Then maybe your skepticism is more insulting than you intend on this one. It happens, which is what my point was about proposing avoiding premarital sex as part of a catch-all solution. In fact, it might be more of an issue since you're less likely to know what your new spouse likes in bed until you're locked in matrimony. Moreover, there's appetite and then there's APPETITE.

I agree about the new book, and that goes both ways. The thing is, sometimes the book is swapped on you when you're unable to do anything about it. When you're left lying there trying to figure out how the hell it all happened, staunching up the blood, and rushing to get the laundry started, it's not that helpful to reflect that you might've been on a different page.

Anyway, I'll leave the guys to discuss rape and how women love to cry wolf about it. I'm honestly tired of hearing about it for the past couple of decades for some reason.

 

[presence]

• 4 Ways You Can Be Raped After You've Consented to Sex

they missed a few... you sobered up and:

realized you just cheated on your boyfriend omg I been raped!
realized you just had sex with someone from a race your racist parents wouldn't approve omg I been raped!
realized they'd brag about the 3some they just had with you omg I been raped!
realized you're pregnant and he ain't got a job omg I been raped!
realized he's underage omg I been raped!
realized your church going family doesn't approve of your loose ways omg I been raped!
realized your friends would tease you about fucking the ugly fat guy omg I been raped!
realized he's fucking somebody else too omg I been raped!
...

 

[Christian Liberty]

The article forgot #5, which probably leads to most of the rape accusations that occur in this day and age.

A girl gets drunk, hooks up with a guy who is also very drunk, she may very well initiate the whole thing in many cases and they go off and have consensual sex (she may even help put his penis inside her cuz he is drunk and having a difficult time)...she wakes up the next morning and feels guilty.. the night before was a bit of a blur, she feels like a slut and one of her SJW friends convinces her that she was raped.

I don't approve of this sort of thing, to be clear, but its not rape.

 

[presence]

I don't approve of this sort of thing, to be clear, but its not rape.

perhaps not but I'd wager its the better half of rape convictions

 

[Christian Liberty]

perhaps not but I'd wager its the better half of rape convictions

Yes, and that's wrong. Fornicators should absolutely have to marry each other according to Biblical law, but even I'm not crazy enough to say this is the same thing as rape

 

[Anti Federalist]

Just obey God. Don't have premarital sex, don't get drunk and pass out and put yourself in a vulnerable position, don't waste time dating the wrong type of person, be wise, have self-respect, etc.

Like I said.... it's not popular, but it sure prevents a lot of stupid mistakes and heartache.

I would tend to agree.

 

[Anti Federalist]

There is a solution to all these problems, but it's very unpopular and no one wants to hear it. :-/

 

[lilymc]

It happens, which is what my point was about proposing avoiding premarital sex as part of a catch-all solution. In fact, it might be more of an issue since you're less likely to know what your new spouse likes in bed until you're locked in matrimony. Moreover, there's appetite and then there's APPETITE.

I should've clarified, when I said all these problems I was talking about problems among singles. I had a feeling that someone was going to bring up rape within marriage. I don't want to get off topic, but potential problems like that are why it's so important to make sure to marry the right person. That may be a Captain Obvious thing to say... and there's more to it than that, but that's a different topic.

 

[timosman]

I should've clarified, when I said all these problems I was talking about problems among singles. I had a feeling that someone was going to bring up rape within marriage. I don't want to get off topic, but potential problems like that are why it's so important to make sure to marry the right person. That may be a Captain Obvious thing to say... and there's more to it than that, but that's a different topic.

You should also brush your teeth and ...... and .... floss!

 

[MelissaWV]

Free advice: if you know someone who was raped, it's kind of a jerk move to tell them "well you shouldn't have gotten involved with a future rapist...duh!"

I can't fathom the disdain you hold for women who've been raped within marriage, to presume that there was no change in behavior, that the woman should have seen the signs but (through failing to interview him well enough first I guess) was too dumb to see those signs. I can assure you, however, that fear of that kind of disdain does affect reporting rates. It kills.

Just as common sense and foolproof would be for rapists not to rape. It's just as realistic a request.

Don't worry though. This is RPFs, so it is more popular to view the women into!ved as idiots, the guys as oppressed, and the claims as disingenuous. I could say "I pray this doesn't happen to you or yours," but your point of view is the false confidence that it can't.

I don't think I'll be back for awhile.

 

[tod evans]

I don't think I'll be back for awhile.

Hope my two cents didn't contribute to this...

I'd rather you stuck around.

 

[Original_Intent]

4. If consent is taken back at any point during sex

I have a cartoon in my mind where, during intercourse the woman is yelling "YES! YES! YES! NO!" and at that point it is rape.

SMDH. Of course, even if during sex, the woman wants it to stop, it should stop. No argument there. But we call too damn many things rape.

 

[Schifference]

Is this rape?
A husband and wife are making out naked in bed. After 15 minutes of foreplay the husband lifts the covers and makes a move to eat her pussy. Maybe she hadn't showered, maybe she won't want to kiss afterward, but for whatever reason when he makes his initial move to go down, she says no. A minute later and for the next hours she moans and says yes, yes, yes, oh god yes!! Did the wife really mean no? Did he rape her? Was the subtle no meant as really no don't do that?

 

[presence]

I don't think I'll be back for awhile.

Nobody doubts that there are many women who have legitimately been forced or coerced through threat of violence against their will into sex.
Many of us rightfully presume many women have used "rape" as an excuse to maintain their ego after a inebriated evening of poor personal choices.
Self serving male evil happens just as self serving female evil happens.
Narcissism; pathological lying knows no boundary between the sexes.
Use of physical force to obtain sex is no morally better or worse than use of state force to preserve ego.
We all have perspective drawn from personal experience which taints our world view on issues such as these; every coin has two sides.
It is to be expected that men confide in men upon accusation of rape and women confide in women upon perception of rape.
Its also to be expected that some of these confided stories from both parties are fabricated, half-truth, white... quickly fading-dark lies.
I'd miss you personally and it would be a great misfortune for your voice, from your personal perspective, to be lost at RPF on this an many other issues.
I don't think it benefits anyone for you to be so quick to run an hide in the face of adverse conjecture.

 

[presence]

I have no metric with which to measure "actual, violent rape"...........I'm one of those guys who lets 'no' suffice once in a while in a marriage but if it becomes a regular occurrence it's time for lawyers.

As a younger man I put more effort into making a marriage work but times were different and I was less jaded. Today it's pretty simple for me with sex in a relationship, if she and I aren't on the same page it's time for a new book.

There might be people who get off on forcing or being forced, I wouldn't know, there're too many willing people out there to force anyone to do something they don't want to do...

I stand with tod on his perspective and tendency here,
but on this subject... I would like to state emphatically

"fuck me or else I'm done with you"

Is NOT rape via threat of violence and any one who makes such an accusation, after strategically engaging in cold unwanted sex in exchange for temporary preservation of a failing relationship to appease one's ambivalent attachment, with later expectation that the offer maker be violently jailed, fined, and forced to pay restitution should themselves stand accused before a jury.

( ps... I'd hope tod find an unlicensed impartial mediator before turning to state lawyers )