# Lifestyles & Discussion > Open Discussion >  The long sobs of the violins of autumn

## Swordsmyth

Some killjoy moved the last nonsense/secret message thread to the Vent so we need a new one.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The monkeys have no tails in San Diego.

----------


## Zippyjuan

> Some killjoy moved the last nonsense/secret message thread to the Vent *so we need a new one*.



Not really.

----------


## Superfluous Man

What difference does it make if it's in Vent?

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Not really.


Thanks for confirming the necessity.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> What difference does it make if it's in Vent?


Maybe the person who moved it there can tell us.

----------


## Zippyjuan

> What difference does it make if it's in Vent?


He got his head stuck in the vent last time.   Took a week to get out.  Now he is afraid to go back.

----------


## Swordsmyth

To catch a blue fish you must use a red worm.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Time and tide wait for no woman.

----------


## Swordsmyth

All our yesterdays have become tomorrows.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The Seagull goes swimming when the fish are napping.

----------


## Dr.3D

Smells like the bubbles in the bathtub.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Good luck, Roger.

----------


## Dr.3D

Mother, should I trust the government?

----------


## dannno

But you can't make a ho a housewife

----------


## Swordsmyth

> But you can't make a ho a housewife


Hoes are better put to use in the garden.

----------


## dannno

> Hoes are better put to use in the garden.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The log cabin has awakened.

----------


## Dr.3D

Poodles make puddles.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Poodles make puddles.


Especially when it rains cats and dogs.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Clay pigeons nest in glass houses.

----------


## Dr.3D

Today is Thursday all day, unless it rains.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Today is Thursday all day, unless it rains.


Happy Windsday.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pawpaws.

----------


## Dr.3D

> Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pawpaws.


Well, at least they were not Peter Peppers.

----------


## Stratovarious

> Clay pigeons nest in glass houses.


''those who live in glass houses should not throw stones''

----------


## Stratovarious

> Mother, should I trust the government?


';'' I'm here from the gobt and I'm here to help',''

----------


## Stratovarious

> Today is Thursday all day, unless it rains.


I set my alarm for 37am regardless of the weather, you should too.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> ''those who live in glass houses should not throw stones''


Those who live in glass houses should invest in drapery.

----------


## Stratovarious

> Those who live in glass houses should invest in drapery.


When that saying came about they didn't have dual pane either, horrible insulation, plus
you better have maid service.

: )

----------


## Swordsmyth

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, then winter came and he cracked up.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The tires on the bus are flat.

----------


## Dr.3D

The top had whistles in it.

----------


## Dr.3D

The woman has a dog named Chunks.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The Owls are not what they seem.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The Seagull is in the birdbath with the rubber duck.

----------


## PursuePeace

A potato bug on the wall is worth about 4 cents.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> A potato bug on the wall is worth about 4 cents.


Twice as much if you squash it.

----------


## Dr.3D

> Twice as much if you squash it.


Then it would be a mashed potato bug.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Then it would be a mashed potato bug.


With its own gravy.

----------


## Dr.3D

How much can a potato see with it's eyes?

----------


## Swordsmyth

> How much can a potato see with it's eyes?


Above or below ground?

----------


## Swordsmyth

How long is short?

----------


## Anti Globalist

If you say Jesus backwards it sounds like sausage.

----------


## PursuePeace

> Then it would be a mashed potato bug.


lol

----------


## Swordsmyth

The dog is in the birdhouse.

----------


## shakey1

gonna leave a greasy trail

----------


## Swordsmyth

Never drink moonshine while your beard is on fire.

----------


## Dr.3D

Mother's gonna make all your nightmares come true.

----------


## Dr.3D

My hands felt just like two balloons.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The Wooden Indian smokes rubber cigars.

----------


## Dr.3D

Wear a gas mask and a veil, then you can breath, long as you don't inhale.

----------


## Swordsmyth

If you want to make an umlaut you have to break a few eggs.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Aardvarks can't fly during a blizzard.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Roger has eaten a belly full of prunes.

----------


## Dr.3D

He liked Daffodils so much, he became a narcissus.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> He liked Daffodils so much, he became a narcissus.


That's just daffy.

----------


## Dr.3D

> That's just daffy.

----------


## Swordsmyth

A snitch in time hangs nine.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The purple ship sails on the orange sea.

----------


## Dr.3D

When the fat lady farted, her husband was flabbergasted.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Wooden nickles are hard to come by.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jump over the Hockey Stick.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The Seagull flies south in the moonlight.

----------


## Dr.3D

When I pass gas, I blame the dog.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Why aren't triangles round?

----------


## Swordsmyth

A night without moonshine is like a day without orange juice.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Amnesia is an unforgettable experience.

----------


## Dr.3D

I didn't watch the movie, Anastasia, because I thought it might put me to sleep.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The savage who discovers fire remains a savage.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The savage who discovers fire remains a savage.


Give me the power of man's red flower so I can be like you.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The log cabin is empty.

----------


## Dr.3D

Seeing the footprints on the ceiling, I realized they were my own.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Seeing the footprints on the ceiling, I realized they were my own.


Sleepwalking can be fun.

----------


## Dr.3D

Getting up in the morning and finding empty whisky bottles on the floor and cigar stubs in the ashtrays, I figured my Dobermans did it, because I sure don't remember doing it.

----------


## ATruepatriot

> Getting up in the morning and finding empty whisky bottles on the floor and cigar stubs in the ashtrays, I figured my Dobermans did it, because I sure don't remember doing it.


I don't know... We have had three and they are pretty damned smart animals.

----------


## Dr.3D

> I don't know... We have had three and they are pretty damned smart animals.


They must have hit me over the head during the night too.  Because I had a terrible headache.

----------


## ATruepatriot

> They must have hit me over the head during the night too.  Because I had a terrible headache.

----------


## Dr.3D

> I don't know... We have had three and they are pretty damned smart animals.

----------


## ATruepatriot

> 


Think they had a wall tapestry with that? You know... They could have passed gas... When a Doberman passes gas it will knock you out and give you one hell of a headache. lol

----------


## Dr.3D

> Think they had a wall tapestry with that? You know... They could have passed gas... When a Doberman passes gas it will knock you out and give you one hell of a headache. lol


Does he look like he could have done it?

----------


## ATruepatriot

> Does he look like he could have done it?


GUILTY! I like that you left his ears alone man,we did too. Good looking Dog!

----------


## Dr.3D

> GUILTY! I like that you left his ears alone man,we did too. Good looking Dog!


Thanks, they are the only companions I have now.

----------


## ATruepatriot

> Thanks, they are the only companions I have now.


Good companions to have, You can do no wrong in their eyes.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Roger is allergic to cucumbers.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The little red wagon has a new coat of paint.

----------


## Dr.3D

i was born under a wand'rin' star.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> i was born under a wand'rin' star.


My heart knows what the wild goose knows.

----------


## Dr.3D

> My heart knows what the wild goose knows.


Let me fly, let me fly, let me fly away

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Let me fly, let me fly, let me fly away


On the wings of a snow white dove.

----------


## Dr.3D

> On the wings of a snow white dove.


He sent him His love

----------


## Swordsmyth

The worm has turned to avoid the early bird.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The grass is always greener on the other side of the gophers hole.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The grass is always greener on the other side of the gophers hole.


Even on groundhog day?

----------


## Swordsmyth

The years roll by on wheels known as months.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The lava lamp is lit.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The paper airplane flew out the window.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The windmills of the gods grind slowly but they grind exceedingly fine.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Come on in, the water is fine.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Let us sit upon the ground and tell glad tales of the death of tyrants.

----------


## Swordsmyth

I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the TOW Missile last night.

----------


## Dr.3D

Women who lay down with dogs, often get pregnant.

----------


## ATruepatriot

Wrong thread... lol

----------


## Swordsmyth

Roger has climbed the steeple.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Roger has fallen off the steeple.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Never go out in the rain without your socks.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The Seagull is hungry.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Never make a deal with an interdimensional space demon.

----------


## Dr.3D

The fox ate the hungry Seagull.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Never make a deal with an interdimensional space demon.


Because Daniel Webster is dead.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The fox ate the hungry Seagull.


The fox will have a belly ache.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating his curds and whey.

----------


## Anti Globalist

A fire can start with a single spark.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> A fire can start with a single spark.


Only you can prevent forest fires.

----------


## Anti Globalist

You can eat bread without knowing how to make it.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The wooden indian is in the log cabin.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Lightning cuts through the darkness.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Lightning cuts through the darkness.


And Thunder swallows silence.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Fires drive shadows away.

----------


## Dr.3D

Something about the event on the beach smelled fishy.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Fires drive shadows away.


It also makes them dance.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Something about the event on the beach smelled fishy.


Don't be an old crab.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Listen to the voice of the turtle when it speaks.

----------


## Anti Globalist

A kunai will always find its mark.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Dear, dear, what can the matter be, Johnny's so long at the airport.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Chaos is a ladder.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Chaos is a ladder.


With moving rungs.

----------


## Dr.3D

> With moving rungs.


An escaladder.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> An escaladder.


That escalated quickly.

----------


## Swordsmyth

A crazy cat may look at a kooky king.

----------


## Dr.3D

It's easy to love those who love you.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Nature loves running its course.

----------


## Swordsmyth

You can lead a man to knowledge but you can't make him think.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The rubber duck is asleep in the henhouse.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Iron rods can be ground to needles.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Iron rods can be ground to needles.


And concealed in piles of hay.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The means can not justify the end.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Revenge is a dish best served cold.


And it is very cold in space.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The bullfrog is in the birdbath.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The apple falls far from the tree.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The apple falls far from the tree.


When a hurricane blows.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Death is the coldest ice.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Death is the coldest ice.


And life is the warmest sunshine.

----------


## Anti Globalist

A man who never uses his sword will never know how sharp it is.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Roger has a broken toe.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Life is like an armed robbery.

----------


## Dr.3D

And just like that, it was gone like a fart in the wind.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Thanks, they are the only companions I have now.

----------


## Swordsmyth

A gun in the hand is worth two in the safe.

----------


## Anti Globalist

One cold day will not freeze a river.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Ego is our greatest adversary.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Enjoy the pomegranate popsicles.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The bus has a dead battery.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Come thunder, come lightning.

----------


## Anti Globalist

One cannot serve two masters.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> One cannot serve two masters.


But one can take money from one of them under false pretenses.

----------


## Anti Globalist

> But one can take money from one of them under false pretenses.


Unless that master is on to whats going on.

----------


## Dr.3D

> Come thunder, come lightning.


Usually it's the other way around.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Justice is blind not heartless.

----------


## Anti Globalist

> Usually it's the other way around.


In my world its reversed.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Man is dog's best friend.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Light and darkness are two sides of the same coin.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The Sun smiles when the squirrel laughs.

----------


## Anti Globalist

You cannot kill what is already dead.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> You cannot kill what is already dead.


But you can blow it to bits.

----------


## Dr.3D

Isn't it good, or don't you like it?

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Isn't it good, or don't you like it?


I do not like green eggs and ham.

----------


## Dr.3D

Keep your chin up, both of them.

----------


## Dr.3D

Don't smile, you might crack your lip.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Don't smile, you might crack your lip.


A laugh will cure that.

----------


## Dr.3D

Be alert, everybody likes lerts!

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Be alert, everybody likes lerts!


If you are a lert you will often become a noid.

----------


## Anti Globalist

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Always remember the Erie canal.

----------


## Swordsmyth

My bunny lies over the ocean.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Theres a taste of whats to come.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Theres a taste of whats to come.


The fathers have eaten a sour grape and the children's teeth are set on edge.

----------


## Anti Globalist

I see my cracked reflection.

----------


## Anti Globalist

A poor craftsmen blames his tools.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The lava lamp is out

----------


## Anti Globalist

The wind blows both ways.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The wind blows both ways.


And the clouds get dizzy.

----------


## Anti Globalist

A wise man learns from defeat.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Why isn't Ojai in Ohio?

----------


## Anti Globalist

Rain falls on the battlefield.

----------


## Dr.3D

And the wind cried back.

----------


## nikcers

jiggery pokery, pure applesauce

----------


## Swordsmyth

Wooden shoes can walk on water.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The Seagull is flying in circles.

----------


## Dr.3D

The computer cookies, crumbled.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Every man dies, not every man actually lives.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Every man dies, not every man actually lives.


The coward dies a thousand deaths.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The computer cookies, crumbled.


After their chips melted.

----------


## Swordsmyth

It is a time for legends.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Why does a bird flap its wings?

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Why does a bird flap its wings?


To improve its circulation.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Oh, give me a home where the buffalo nickels roam.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Never take a pet snake for a walk in the grass.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Gone are the days that never were.

----------


## Dr.3D

> Gone are the days that never were.


As are the knights of old.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> As are the knights of old.


With their ladies in waiting.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The log cabin is full.

----------


## Dr.3D

The toilet needs flushing.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Friends will only slow you down.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Friends will only slow you down.


By helping you to stop and smell the roses.

----------


## Swordsmyth

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe, the dope.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Once there was an ugly barnacle.  He was so ugly that everyone died.

----------


## Dr.3D

The campfire has frozen.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Never rely on the power of a single card.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Why do you do what you do when you do it?

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The campfire has frozen.


Red ice will melt it.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Never rely on the power of a single card.


You need one up both sleeves.

----------


## Dr.3D

Somebody has greased the wheels of the locomotive.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Man is the most dangerous animal of all.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The Mint Chocolate Chicken Pot Pies are on sale all week.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Chinese handcuffs have no keys.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Jax eats snacks by the tracks.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The rubber duck is afraid of paper tigers.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Good things are on the horizon.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Time is like a big blue banana.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Life is like a box of chocolates.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Life is like a box of chocolates.


It can get stale at times.

----------


## Swordsmyth

We were sailing along on Moonshine Bay.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Our judgements can be clouded.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Everyday you don't train, somewhere someone is.

----------


## Dr.3D

The moistened bint, lobbed a scimitar.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The snowman has no hat.

----------


## Dr.3D

The cat dug a hole in the litter box.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Relinquishing power takes courage.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Mess with the bull, you get the horns.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Never run while walking in your sleep.

----------


## Anti Globalist

We must prepare ourselves for combat.

----------


## Dr.3D

The giraffe sniffed for elephants.

----------


## Dr.3D

The hippo fanned his tail.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The giraffe sniffed for elephants.





> The hippo fanned his tail.


The lion crossed his eyes.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The Seagull is perched on the snowman.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Everything eventually gets brought to the light.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Everything eventually gets brought to the light.


All shall be read upon the housetops.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The dog, he did a courting go.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep and kilometers to go before I sleep.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The blind lead the blind.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The blind lead the blind.


And the one eyed man laughs.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Suffering is the seed of strength.

----------


## Swordsmyth

You can't shoe a horsefly.

----------


## Anti Globalist

When in doubt, pinky out.

----------


## Dr.3D

The whiskey was as smooth as the bark of a hickory tree.

----------


## Dr.3D

She was pretty and soft like a pocket full of mice.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> She was pretty and soft like a pocket full of mice.


Did you give her any cheese?

----------


## Swordsmyth

The bus has a cracked windshield.

----------


## Dr.3D

The dog has a bone.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The dog has a bone.


You'd better give the other dog one too or you will have too many dogs and not enough bones.

----------


## Dr.3D

> You'd better give the other dog one too or you will have too many dogs and not enough bones.


The township has an ordinance against giving out more than one bone to dogs per day.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The township has an ordinance against giving out more than one bone to dogs per day.


They must _want_ a dog eat dog world.

----------


## Dr.3D

> They must _want_ a dog eat dog world.


Who can figure out what those busybodies are thinking?

----------


## Swordsmyth

What is so odd about odd numbers?

----------


## Anti Globalist

Little by little, piece by piece.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Little by little, piece by piece.


Little drops of water and little grains of sand.

----------


## Dr.3D

What is so prime about prime numbers?

----------


## Swordsmyth

> What is so prime about prime numbers?


Their ribs.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The peanutbutter stuffed jalapenos are two for a dollar.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The log cabin is for sale.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Don't try to tap dance in a minefield.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Wind blows, rain falls.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Wind blows, rain falls.


And the sun shines.

----------


## Anti Globalist

> And the sun shines.


And the moon controls the tides.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> And the moon controls the tides.


Along with the brains of lunatics.

----------


## Dr.3D

Imagine a tide of lunatics.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Imagine a tide of lunatics.


I don't have to, I can see liberals for real.

----------


## Dr.3D

Poligrip is what keeps a parrot standing upright on it's perch.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Once upon a time they lived happily ever after.

----------


## Dr.3D

Everything was fine, till somebody got bored.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Everything was fine, till somebody got bored.


And drunk.

----------


## Dr.3D

When she cut off their tails with a carving knife, the dish ran away with the spoon.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> When she cut off their tails with a carving knife, the dish ran away with the spoon.


All the way to Banbury Cross

----------


## Swordsmyth

The snowman has green boots.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The black winds howl.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The paper airplane is in the hangar.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The cheese is out.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The cheese is out.


And the trap is empty.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The stage is set and the curtain is up.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The stage is set and the curtain is up.


Enjoy the show.

----------


## Dr.3D

Oh darn, the rubber broke....  and my newspaper blew away.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Oh darn, the rubber broke....  and my newspaper blew away.


Up, Up and Away!

----------


## Swordsmyth

Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The cats out of the bag.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The cats out of the bag.


And someone will get scratched.

----------


## Anti Globalist

I am the alpha and the omega.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Orange lights cast blue shadows.

----------


## Anti Globalist

I whack hacks across their backs.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> I whack hacks across their backs.


While wearing slacks.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The panther lies in wait.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The panther lies in wait.


Dogs tell the truth instead.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The Seagull is on the surfboard.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Theres a snake in my boots.

----------


## Dr.3D

He became alarmed when he found he was down to only half a bottle of scamper juice.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Theres a snake in my boots.


Use it's skin to make a new pair.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> He became alarmed when he found he was down to only half a bottle of scamper juice.


was it half full or half empty?

----------


## Swordsmyth

The snowman is truly abominable.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The ocean is a mystery.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The ocean is a mystery.


of great depth.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Loving a good burial.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Who are you when you aren't yourself?

----------


## Anti Globalist

Somebody is one cloud nine.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Storms are brewing.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Storms are brewing.


Somebody's parade will get rained on.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The Bacon Cheesecake has been added to the breakfast menu.

----------


## Dr.3D

> Who are you when you aren't yourself?


Beside myself.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Beside myself.


Where are you when you are beside yourself?

----------


## Dr.3D

> Where are you when you are beside yourself?


I am then in a state of extreme agitation or excitement.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> I am then in a state of extreme agitation or excitement.


California?

----------


## Dr.3D

After stubbing his toe on a xeno, he started watching out for them.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> After stubbing his toe on a xeno, he started watching out for them.


That's Xenophobic.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The bus is out of gas.

----------


## Dr.3D

> That's Xenophobic.


Well, if you stubbed you toe on a xeno, you'd be xenophobic too.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Well, if you stubbed you toe on a xeno, you'd be xenophobic too.


I think I did and am.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Pity the puppet who ignores his strings.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Pity the puppet who ignores his strings.


More so the one who attempts to cut them.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The wind howls and the coyote answers.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The Daylight Savings and Loan has been robbed.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Lost souls beckon to be found.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Lost souls beckon to be found.


But not all who wander are lost.

----------


## Anti Globalist

We must prepare ourselves for combat.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> We must prepare ourselves for combat.


I will make mine arrows drunk with blood, and my sword shall devour flesh; _and that_ with the blood of the slain and of the captives, from the beginning of revenges upon the enemy.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Blue heaven and you and I, and sand kissing a starlit sky.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Roger has a toothache.

----------


## Stratovarious

> The monkeys have no tails in San Diego.


Oh , but they do have tales.

----------


## Stratovarious

Trains leave tracks.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Oh , but they do have tales.


A whale of a tale or two.

----------


## Stratovarious

> A whale of a tale or two.

----------


## Swordsmyth

>

----------


## Anti Globalist

The blue corner makes the first attack.

----------


## Stratovarious

What do the first responders say when the coroner has already paid his visit before they arrived....

----------


## Stratovarious

Don't forget, no matter how things go for ya' , it snot the end of the world , emphasis on it snot.....

----------


## Swordsmyth

The crazy cat is in the birdcage.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Theres a stale piece of bread on the table.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Theres a stale piece of bread on the table.


Feed it to the birds.

----------


## Dr.3D

There's a squished cat in the recliner.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> There's a squished cat in the recliner.


The dobermans must have had fun last night.

----------


## Stratovarious

> Theres a stale piece of bread on the table.


There's a pale s_lice o_f egg in the stable.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Red hens lay yellow eggs.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Big things have small beginnings.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Seeing is believing.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Do you want Ranch dressing with your deep fried bananas?

----------


## Anti Globalist

Fresh meat is one the table.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Fresh meat is one the table.


Come and get it!

----------


## Anti Globalist

The scariest monster of them all is the human mind.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The jackalope barks when the thunder rolls.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Fools are just another gear in the clock.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Fools are just another gear in the clock.


With missing teeth.

----------


## Swordsmyth

How much is not enough?

----------


## Anti Globalist

The universe feels love.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The universe feels love.


And makes the world go 'round.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

No sooner had I called forth  the marble-admiral than he turned on his heel like a horse which rears  at the sight of the North star and showed me, in the plane of his  two-pointed cocked hat, a region where I was to spend my life.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Your princess is in another castle.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

The winter fly died of old age.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Paper tigers eat marshmallow ducks.

----------


## Dr.3D

When he woke up, his cheek was stuck to the pillow.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> When he woke up, his cheek was stuck to the pillow.


And he felt down in the mouth.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Purple crayons don't taste like grapes.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

Alas, I believe in the virtue of birds, and a feather is all it takes to make me die laughing.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Purple crayons don't taste like grapes.


They taste like eggplant.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

A degenerate China with no money

----------


## Swordsmyth

> A degenerate China with no money


Coming soon to a planet near you.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

Verginous fields of prune and juice joy (wearing a hat that wasn't on my head).

----------


## Swordsmyth

Don't try to sing underwater.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Don't cast aspersions with asparagus.

----------


## Swordsmyth

You can catch more bears with honey than with vinegar.

----------


## Dr.3D

I've tasted the morning winds from the south and my heart beats the lark's song.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> I've tasted the morning winds from the south and my heart beats the lark's song.


Zippidty Do Dah, Zippidty day.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

This is an oft-told tale that  I tell, a famous poem that I reread: I am leaning against a wall, with  my verdant ears and my lips burned to a crisp.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Too much is too little.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Bread goes in, toast comes out.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Bread goes in, toast comes out.


Butter goes on, then jam.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Will skills pay the bills?

----------


## Swordsmyth

Blue clouds drop green rain.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The cat frolics in the field.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The cat frolics in the field.


And the mice play in the house.

----------


## Swordsmyth

We are all out of candied mushrooms.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

The moose makes mischief in the hamper.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The moose makes mischief in the hamper.


While the squirrel looks on.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

> While the squirrel looks on.


The woodchipper groans in hunger.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The woodchipper groans in hunger.


And the conveyor belt comes to life.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

Impactical

----------


## Swordsmyth

The snowman walks at midnight.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

> The snowman walks at midnight.


The midnight sun burns crispy lips.

----------


## Swordsmyth

If nobody is nowhere then somebody isn't somewhere.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Yellow cars run on black gasoline.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Over the river and through the woods, to grandfather's house we go.

----------


## specsaregood

All crows under heaven are black.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> All crows under heaven are black.


Because we call all the rest something else.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Not all asians are chinese.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Not all asians are chinese.


Not all Chinese are Asians.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

Not all Europeans are clever.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Not all Europeans are clever.


Some are intelligent.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

> Some are intelligent.


...and some are English.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> ...and some are English.


And some are papists.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

> And some are papists.


Barbarians, then confused Englishmen; they can't have English winning...

...Brexit, a strain, and the queen knows you're a total ass.

Oh, well.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Barbarians, then confused Englishmen; they can't have English winning...
> 
> ...Brexit, a strain, and the queen knows you're a total ass.
> 
> Oh, well.


A whore upon the waters will drown eventually.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

> A whore upon the waters will drown eventually.


One of a million grains of sand doesn't know it's sand..

----------


## Swordsmyth

> One of a million grains of sand doesn't know it's sand..


A snake doesn't know he is a snake, he crawls on his belly and thinks he's a king.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

> A snake doesn't know he is a snake, he crawls on his belly and thinks he's a king.


Only one is.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Only one is.


His head will be crushed.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

> His head will be crushed.


Or ends up on a skewer.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

I'll tell you about about Texas radio and the big beat..

----------


## Swordsmyth

Don't ever whistle while chewing gum.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The beaver sleeps like a log.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The beaver sleeps like a log.


Hard work will do that.

----------


## Anti Federalist

The looters HAVE entered the package store.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The looters HAVE entered the package store.


Burn it down.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The wooden indian is lying down.

----------


## Swordsmyth

All grass is not green.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The larks are upon us.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Roger tripped on his aardvark.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Night will soon fall.

----------


## Dr.3D

> Night will soon fall.


And soon cause the break of dawn.

----------


## Anti Globalist

There are remnants of ancient spirits.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> There are remnants of ancient spirits.


Because the ancients drank them.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

Got one more silver dollar

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Got one more silver dollar


Come back when you have a fistful.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

I don't own the clothes I'm wearing.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The word is "binnacle".

----------


## Anti Globalist

The owl turns its head.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The owl turns its head.


And the prairie dog panics.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The punch is mightier than the sword.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The punch is mightier than the sword.


But not as cool.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Do you want your broccoli sandwich on rye or whole wheat?

----------


## Swordsmyth

The bus needs new seat covers.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Rapid rabid rabbits run rings 'round rabbis.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Discipline isn't oppression.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The snowman has a fur hat.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Orange cats eat brown mice.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Carry me back to old New Guinea.

----------


## Dr.3D

Beware of inverted nearly empty glasses on the bottom of drained bath tub.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Beware of inverted nearly empty glasses on the bottom of drained bath tub.


Those can really hurt.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

There aren't enough light bulbs on this street.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> There aren't enough light bulbs on this street.


They are too heavy.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

Nicky Alexandrovich ought to have shot them, and kept the light bulbs, now burnt out, shining.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Never stand on your head in the airport.

----------


## Swordsmyth

You can now pre-order our chocolate covered cherry tomatoes as Christmas gifts.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Monkeys claws cut deep.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Monkeys claws cut deep.


And their teeth are sharp.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Why do some birds not fly?

----------


## Dr.3D

> Why do some birds not fly?


Because they can run fast enough to avoid being caught?

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Because they can run fast enough to avoid being caught?


The Dodo couldn't.

----------


## Dr.3D

> The Dodo couldn't.


Imported predator.

Diversity didn't work out so well for them.

----------


## Anti Globalist

> The Dodo couldn't.


Neither could the ostrich.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The camel spits on its owner.

----------


## specsaregood

And nobody had ever seen a better cat man.

----------


## Dr.3D

> The camel spits on its owner.


So does the green pipe.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Wooden shoes should be worn with thick socks.

----------


## Anti Globalist

I wear long sleeve shirts over short sleeve shirts over long sleeve shirts.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> I wear long sleeve shirts over short sleeve shirts over long sleeve shirts.


What do you wear under them?

----------


## Swordsmyth

A noisy noise annoys a clam.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The log cabin is airborne.

----------


## Dr.3D

> What do you wear under them?


I would guess, underwear.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The bus needs a tune-up.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Do you want a free sample of our deep-fried melon balls?

----------


## Anti Globalist

The man stares into your soul.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The man stares into your soul.


Stare back.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The red fox digs in the brown earth.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Don't try to sleep in the fast lane.

----------


## Anti Globalist

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.


Then sell it.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The Seagull is under the weather.

----------


## Dr.3D

> Then sell it.


If you can get a permit to do so.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> If you can get a permit to do so.


Bootleg tastes better.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Attachment leads to jealousy.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Where are the dragonflies when you need them?

----------


## Swordsmyth

When a felon's not engaged in his employment or maturing his felonious little plans his capacity for innocent enjoyment is just as great as any dishonest man's.

----------


## Anti Globalist

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

----------


## Swordsmyth

> What is the sound of one hand clapping?


That depends on what it hits.

----------


## Anti Globalist

What is today but yesterdays tomorrow?

----------


## Swordsmyth

> What is today but yesterdays tomorrow?


Tomorrow's yesterday.

----------


## Swordsmyth

We now have mustard and mayonnaise milkshakes.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The boy blows his horn.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The boy blows his horn.


And the cows come home.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The crazy cat ate the rubber duck.

----------


## Anti Globalist

A man chooses.  A slave obeys.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> A man chooses.  A slave obeys.


When a man first obeys the king because he agrees he has already rebelled.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The wolf howls at the full moon.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The wolf howls at the full moon.


And barks at a crescent moon.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Red sparrows get eaten by black cats.

----------


## Anti Globalist

> And barks at a crescent moon.


And sleeps when theres no moon.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The wind is in the treetops when the ants are in their hills.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Everybody gets what they deserve.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Everybody gets what they deserve.


But the timing varies.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Keeping odd hours contributes to daylight savings.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The snowman has a red hat.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Search your soul and reawaken the undying light.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Old king coal was a merry old sole.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Is it slavery when you get what you want?

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Is it slavery when you get what you want?


It depends on what you have to give.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Roger has a nosebleed.

----------


## Swordsmyth

There's many a tune left in an old guitar.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The dill pickle pudding is all you can eat for the rest of the month.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Light will guide you on your way to the ultimate fight.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

Most people aren't worth fighting.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Light will guide you on your way to the ultimate fight.


Always follow the light.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

Right into the train tunnel

----------


## r3volution 3.0

You may eat your dinner, your pork and beans

----------


## Anti Globalist

The strong survive and the weak perish.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The Seagull was delicious.

----------


## Dr.3D

> The dill pickle pudding is all you can eat for the rest of the month.


Unless you didn't eat your meat.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Unless you didn't eat your meat.


Tofu can be substituted for those who promise not to tell all the other customers that they are vegan.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Everybody is caught in the struggle.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Believing impossible things on an empty stomach can ruin your appetite.

----------


## shakey1

> Unless you didn't eat your meat.


How can you have your pudding?

----------


## Anti Globalist

Scatter ashes to the winds.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Why be a king when you can be a god?

----------


## Dr.3D

> Scatter ashes to the winds.


Just don't do it by smoking in bed.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The day is long when it should be short and short when it should be long.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Colors weave into a spire of flame.

----------


## shakey1

Don't need a weather man to know which way the wind blows

----------


## Swordsmyth

Lazy Lob and Crazy Cob are weaving webs to wind thee.

----------


## Anti Globalist

And now I return to the earth.

----------


## Swordsmyth

White rats eat blue cheese.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The carp jumps out of the lake.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The carp jumps out of the lake.


But he's still just an overgrown goldfish.

----------


## Anti Globalist

> But he's still just an overgrown goldfish.


Until he swims up the waterfall and becomes a dragon.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The bus needs an oil change.

----------


## Swordsmyth

What are you doing outside in this weather?

----------


## Anti Globalist

Lifes a beach, I'm just playing in the sand.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Never go skydiving in a sandstorm.

----------


## Dr.3D

Don't blame the sun of the beach for your sunburn.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Don't blame to sun of the beach for your sunburn.


Blame the water.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The paper airplane is on fire.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Believe in your own strength and it can never let you down.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Even the strongest man knows when to be afraid.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Never underestimate the power of dew.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Never underestimate the power of ones hatred for you.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Why are clouds lined with silver instead of gold?

----------


## Dr.3D

> Why are clouds lined with silver instead of gold?


Probably because gold weighs too much.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Probably because gold weighs too much.


That makes sense.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Blood can only run so thick.

----------


## Swordsmyth

You get a line and I'll get a pole, sugar.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Souls are quite lovely.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Souls are quite lovely.


And rare.

----------


## Anti Globalist

You can't have a good party without someone laying on the floor.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Necessity is the father of invention.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Licking a sword is not hygienic.

----------


## shakey1

Watching whales die on cnn provides medicinal porpoises.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Knowledge does not equate to experience.

----------


## Swordsmyth

When the clouds pass in front of the full moon the badger walks in his sleep.

----------


## Dr.3D

> Knowledge does not equate to experience.


Nor does it equate to intelligence.

----------


## Anti Globalist

One must never let emotions get in the way during battle.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The word is "Ribosome".

----------


## Anti Globalist

The simplest mind always believe what it wants to.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The simplest mind always believe what it wants to.


Or what it is told to.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Without fear you'll never grow stronger as a fighter.

----------


## Swordsmyth

He who walks a mile in another man's shoe's gets athlete's foot.

----------


## Dr.3D

> Or what it is told to.


Especially if it has paid for the information.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Especially if it has paid for the information.


It would be a waste of money to believe anything else.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Don't fall into the pit.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

For the man who has lost all curiosity, all ambition, there is a serene and aristocratic pleasure in watching snails walk.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.

----------


## Swordsmyth

It's an ill woodwind that no one blows good.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The monkey throws his poo.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

Persons obsessed with licking things like to lick things.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The jalapeño strawberry ice cream is on back order, try again next week.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

It's a goodwind that no one blowswood ill.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

There isn't water with lilies that say deep sound.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

Oh, look, a giant explosion of chrysanthemum, red and green.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

So much chicken...

...now rice and beans.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

...more than you've ever seen.

----------


## shakey1

The laws of nature should not be left in the hands of the legislature.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

3000 tyrants 1 mile away murdered  me the same as 1 tyrant 3000 miles away.

----------


## Anti Globalist

It is not wise to insult your executioner.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The doghouse is white with a red roof.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The money is always right.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Always use honey when fly fishing.

----------


## Sonny Tufts

The word "politics" comes from Greek.  "Poli" means many, and "tics" means blood-sucking parasites.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Time is of the essence.

----------


## r3volution 3.0

The word "socialism" comes from Sanskrit; "soc" means sock, and "ialis" means y'alls [stolen stuff], such as we'd stuff in the sock.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The eagle surpasses the vulture.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Home, Home on the range where the eggs and the bacon do fry.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The birdbath is dry.

----------


## shakey1

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The eel slithers through the water.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Roger has an itch.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Through fear we commit atrocities and call them acts of self preservation.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Do you want your deep-fried peanutbutter balls regular or extra crispy?

----------


## Dr.3D

If you order two eggs over greasy, you usually get what you ordered.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> If you order two eggs over greasy, you usually get what you ordered.


Especially at a greasy spoon.

----------


## Anti Globalist

There are remnants of ancient spirits.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> There are remnants of ancient spirits.


There won't be for long now that you mention them around here.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Circular arguments have no point.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The snake eats its tail.

----------


## Swordsmyth

What kind of weather are you under when you are under the weather?

----------


## Anti Globalist

Remember the gift of life and treasure it.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Rock-a-bye baby in the treetops, when the saxophone blows the cradle will rock n' roll.

----------


## shakey1

The fate of all mankind I see is in the hands of fools

----------


## Anti Globalist

Modern problems need modern solutions.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Roger walks in his sleep.

----------


## Anti Globalist

Fly like a raven.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> Fly like a raven.


And sing like a nightingale.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The hippo walks into the muddy water.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The hippo walks into the muddy water.


And comes out clean.

----------


## Swordsmyth

The crazy cat is in the birdcage.

----------


## Anti Globalist

The ostrich runs through the desert.

----------


## Swordsmyth

> The ostrich runs through the desert.


And forgets her eggs

----------


## Anti Globalist

Do not fold in the face of adversity, because eventually, it will mold you into something inconceivable.

----------


## Swordsmyth

Yes, we have no papayas.

----------


## JoshLowry

Do something RPF.

----------

