New Re-cut "FOR LIBERTY" artwork, critique needed

[AdamT]

Splitting off the main thread.

Here's the draft of the re-cut 4-panel sleeve artwork for initial forum review. Some of the copy can be changed still. Let's have it, need to hash this out quick. Keep in mind we want this to be a lit piece as much as the doc included.

Front & back (click for larger version)



Inside panel L & R, disc will be in the L pocket (click for larger version)



Not sure about listing the DP and Forums. Some have mentioned they might not be good for the general public? CFL & YAL instead? Hmm.

 

[sailingaway]

In the one with Ron standing with his arms outspread I would put the picture at the top with the words at the bottom. It strikes me as claustrophobic at the bottom, maybe because Ron is fairly small in that shot. In the other one it doesn't bother me.

Looks good to me otherwise!

 

[freshjiva]

Great work, Adam! This is absolutely phenomenal.

In terms of the inside cover, I would try to use as many direct quotations from Founding Fathers and others that Conservatives hold in high esteem to back each of those pillars of Liberty up.

For "Personal Freedom & Liberties":
"That government is best which governs least." - Henry David Thoreau

For "A Strong Foreign Policy vs US Empire" I'd change the language to "A Conservative Foreign Policy of Peace and Free Trade", and use this quote:
"Peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations. Entangling alliances with none."
-- Thomas Jefferson, First Inaugural Address, 1801

I'd also use James Madison's comments on how foreign policy of aggressive intervention will lead to a decay of personal freedom:
"The means of defense against foreign danger historically have become instruments of tyranny at home."

For "The Dollar, Bailouts & Federal Reserve", I'd use:
"Issue of currency should be lodged with the government and be protected from domination by Wall Street. We are opposed to...provisions [which] would place our currency and credit system in private hands." - Theodore Roosevelt

I don't think we need a Founding Father's advice against taxation since the GOP is already in that camp

 

[freshjiva]

Hmm, actually, scratch that quote from Roosevelt, and replace it with this:

"Paper money has had the effect in your state that it will ever have, to ruin commerce, oppress the honest, and open the door to every species of fraud and injustice." - George Washington

 

[AdamT]

Quotes are great and all (and there are are a few in there already) but those take up valuable space where we want hard info people can read, relate to, and think about. That said, it might be possible to fit another one in somewhere.

 

[Sentinelrv]

Under "The Dollar Bailouts & The Federal Reserve" section I think you should maybe eliminate the last two sentences and put something down on why they should care about this issue. You've already put down something that matters to people, the bailout, but there needs to be something else. I would suggest saying that printing money causes inflation, but say it in a way that everybody would understand, such as saying that it causes prices to go up like gas and food. And then comes the killer, a sentence saying that the economic crisis was caused by the Federal Reserve also. And in the Ron Paul part right after that, you need to stress that he is "the only candidate" running that has "the economic experience necessary to fix our economy" and that he's also the only one that wants to abolish the Federal Reserve. Those couple things are very important and I think they should replace your description on what inflation is.

 

[AdamT]

Under "The Dollar Bailouts & The Federal Reserve" section I think you should maybe eliminate the last two sentences and put something down on why they should care about this issue. You've already put down something that matters to people, the bailout, but there needs to be something else. I would suggest saying that printing money causes inflation, but say it in a way that everybody would understand, such as saying that it causes prices to go up like gas and food. And then comes the killer, a sentence saying that the economic crisis was caused by the Federal Reserve also. And in the Ron Paul part right after that, you need to stress that he is "the only candidate" running that has "the economic experience necessary to fix our economy" and that he's also the only one that wants to abolish the Federal Reserve. Those couple things are very important and I think they should replace your description on what inflation is.

+rep This is exactly the kind of critique we're looking for! Will work on this tomorrow.

 

[AdamT]

Are you guys digging the open-ended Qs on the back, and then having them answered/addressed in the inside panels? I really like this idea, Bryan suggested it.

 

[Sentinelrv]

Yes, it get people thinking about ideas and the issues, instead of just telling telling you things about Ron Paul. You save that for the inside panel.

 

[Sentinelrv]

And the part about Ron Paul wanting to abolish the IRS and replace it with nothing may sound good to us, but it may scare some people that don't understand why he would do this or how the government could function without the inclome tax. I think it should be explained a little bit better or replaced with something else that maybe explains how Ron Paul understands what was said in the above paragraph, that government regulation is destroying the economy and job creation and he's the only candidate that would work to phase out burdensome regulation, allowing the free market to work and jobs to come back to America.

Also, maybe instead of saying he endorsed Ronald Reagan, say that Ronald Reagan endorsed him. That should have more impact.

 

[DirtMcGirt]

Awesome work! I may be splitting hairs: I know the blue on the back cover makes the text really pop but have you tried to get some of that blue into the front cover, maybe some into clouds (granted clouds aren't blue) or get a touch of the green or red from the front into the back? Just to tie both sides together like you did on the inside cover.

 

[DirtMcGirt]

Like I said before, I may be splitting hairs.

How does underlining each topic header on the inside cover look?

ob/gyn might be all caps...
double check to see if a comma is needed after "to his wife carol for over 50 years, and their son....
Personal freedom and liberty:
not sure about: Whether it be the TSA groping at airports... whether it is the TSA groping at airports... not sure if be or is.

Taxes and government:
instead of some call; many call or many economists call

Bailouts:
Instead of average Americans--middle class americans
Comprehensive audit of the federal reserve and restore sound money to Americans.

United states constitution:
Why do americans stand for this? seems out of place.


Obamacare=romney care
Ron's xx years as a doctor give him incredible insight into the healthcare debate. He would...

 

[Sentinelrv]

Is there anyhting on the DVD that explains what the significance of the tree is now that you changed the subtitle?

 

[nayjevin]

Quotes are great and all (and there are are a few in there already) but those take up valuable space where we want hard info people can read, relate to, and think about. That said, it might be possible to fit another one in somewhere.

I vote for as many verified/accurate quotes as possible, including a few of Ron's.

Are you guys digging the open-ended Qs on the back, and then having them answered/addressed in the inside panels? I really like this idea, Bryan suggested it.

I am, I'd even try to re-word the opening paragraph so it's only questions on that side.

Haven't read over the inside text closely, but it's really good visually IMO.

 

[AdamT]

Awesome work! I may be splitting hairs: I know the blue on the back cover makes the text really pop but have you tried to get some of that blue into the front cover, maybe some into clouds (granted clouds aren't blue) or get a touch of the green or red from the front into the back? Just to tie both sides together like you did on the inside cover.

I think this would be difficult to do in the current design. Remember, you're looking at the front/back in a single flat image. The actual piece will be folded, and the front/back will be not be viewed at the same time like the inner spread.

 

[AdamT]

Like I said before, I may be splitting hairs.

How does underlining each topic header on the inside cover look?

ob/gyn might be all caps...
double check to see if a comma is needed after "to his wife carol for over 50 years, and their son....
Personal freedom and liberty:
not sure about: Whether it be the TSA groping at airports... whether it is the TSA groping at airports... not sure if be or is.

Taxes and government:
instead of some call; many call or many economists call

Bailouts:
Instead of average Americans--middle class americans
Comprehensive audit of the federal reserve and restore sound money to Americans.

United states constitution:
Why do americans stand for this? seems out of place.


Obamacare=romney care
Ron's xx years as a doctor give him incredible insight into the healthcare debate. He would...

I don't think underlining would really do much except muck it up haha. I've seen Ob/Gyn written as it is now and in all caps, and I would prefer it not to be all caps as those are a bit harsh looking. Going over all your other suggestions now, some good suggestions for the text, thanks! +rep

 

[AdamT]

Is there anyhting on the DVD that explains what the significance of the tree is now that you changed the subtitle?

Actually, no, there is no text explaining it. We're pushing imagery of a growing, beautiful and blossoming tree though, so I think it's safe to leave it up to their imagination?

 

[dannno]

On the front cover, I like the graininess of the tree and the ground, but have you tried contrasting it with a non-grainy sky/clouds in the background?

 

[AZ Libertarian]

Actually, no, there is no text explaining it. We're pushing imagery of a growing, beautiful and blossoming tree though, so I think it's safe to leave it up to their imagination?

I like the original Subtitle better!

 

[DirtMcGirt]

I think this would be difficult to do in the current design. Remember, you're looking at the front/back in a single flat image. The actual piece will be folded, and the front/back will be not be viewed at the same time like the inner spread.

I see what you mean. I guess I am just really digging that blue on the back cover.

How about that color blue Ron Paul 2012 yard sign(like you have on the inside) on the right side of the hill getting hit by the sunlight... that could do the trick or it might just clutter up the front? I vaguely remember that being an option on the original cover.

Anyway, you have a keen eye for this stuff so trust your instincts.