New Stock Terms - (humor, c'mon we could all use a laugh)

[Anti Federalist]

CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer.




CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer.






BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.






BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.






VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.






P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.






BROKER — What my broker has made me.






STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.






STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.






STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.






FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.






MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.






CASH FLOW– The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.






YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.






WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.






INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.






PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.

 

[tpreitzel]

I love the definition of BROKER! Great stuff! I can hardly stop laughing! YAHOOOOOOOOOOOO! It's a long way down, brother.

 

[UK4Paul]

I often wondered why people would take financial advice from a company called Standard & Poor...

 

[Anti Federalist]

I love the definition of BROKER! Great stuff! I can hardly stop laughing! YAHOOOOOOOOOOOO! It's a long way down, brother.

Yeah I was LMFAO at that as well.

Used to use that term when I was commercial fishing, when have a bad trip and you go out broke and come back "broker".

 

[liberteebell]

Thanks for the laughs!!!

 

[Cowlesy]

awesome one hahaha