Joe Quimby vs. Nick Coons on Government Stimulus

[nickcoons]

Libertarian congressional candidate Nick Coons, with his staunch record of advocating a policy of "governmental hands-off" in the economy, has been challenged by Springfield Mayor Joe Quimby to a debate regarding government stimulus. The debate is to take place in front of the Kwik-E-Mart, a local landmark in the small town. In these trying economic times, it might seem intuitive that government should take swift and decisive action to prevent an all out economic depression.

"Many are not aware of the long-term harmful economic problems of government intervention in the market, a problem that is actually the cause of where we are today," said Coons. "Additionally, many politicians end up awarding large sums of taxpayer money to their friends."

Observing a town council meeting where Mayor Quimby is negotiating a possible stimulus in Springfield, he is overheard uttering reactively as money enters the conversation, "Did I hear a briefcase opening?"

Quimby will be arguing for government stimulus in order to prop up failing industry, given the popular support among the locals. "Very well," said the mayor, "if that is the way the winds are blowing, let no one say I don't also blow."

Mr. Burns, a local businessman whose power plant is suffering due to poor management, also supports the bailout. "What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?"

Coons, who sees the quickest economic recovery plan as allowing failing companies to fail and be replaced by their more consumer-responsive competitors, will be opposing government stimulus in the debate. "Given the lack of logical comprehension among the Springfield locals," started Coons, "I accepted this debate challenge reluctantly, and only under the condition that I could attend armed. I know what goes on in that place."

Mayor Quimby recollects the events of a previous debate. "Can't this town go one day without a riot?"

 

[Working Poor]

ya got a you tube on this?

 

[nickcoons]

ya got a you tube on this?

I'm not sure what you mean. A YouTube of me reciting the article?

 

[Working Poor]

I thought this was an episode of the Simpsons....

 

[nickcoons]

I thought this was an episode of the Simpsons....

I hadn't thought about that -- that would have been slick if the producers wrote me into a script . No, I just create a "simpsonized" character of myself.

 

[heavenlyboy34]

lol! Great satire, Nick! Well done!